Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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