Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just puked most of my soul out..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
