We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
