dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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