you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
