what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
