Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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