haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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