So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
