we have officially lost it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
