Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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