is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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