He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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