i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
