I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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