I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You pole danced in your parka.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
