whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
