jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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