i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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