you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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