Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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