i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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