god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
