Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
