Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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