She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
