Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
