strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize