And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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