Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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