Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
