If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
