I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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