and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
