It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
