Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize