good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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