She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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