Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
