Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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