The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
