Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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