my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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