who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
