return my video game
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
