we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I cut my penus on the lid.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
