I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
