I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
