we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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