I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
