i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
