Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
