Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
