just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize