This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
