I have demons in me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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