imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
