It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
