I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Life is so much better after having sex.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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