I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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