Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
