I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
