now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
