At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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