6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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